I B Literate

Journaling links my reality to my subconscious however, over the years I have discovered that finding a way to release what is located on the dust-covered shelves in the deep recesses of my mind to be difficult. Instead the majority of my entries are filled with the boring BS of daily activities, who pissed me off that day, and the problems that continue to plague my psyche. Alcohol is the best solution, but is certainly nothing my liver and kidneys want to entertain for the long-term. So locating a much healthier way to release the creative hounds is top priority. But I am still left wondering why I am unable to squeeze the gigantic amounts of information and ideas busily swarming around in my head onto the tiny lines of my journal? Is it because I feel it is a waste of time? Do I believe that the creativity dying to be released is unimportant? Possibly. Is it fear of imperfection or lack of coherence? Most likely. Or do I suffer from a complete lack of inspiration? Oh writer's block at its finest.

Inspiration comes in many forms and tends to find me during my outdoor activities. Mountain biking is my preferred method as well as trail running, swimming, kayaking, snowboarding, and backpacking. My exposure to new places, people, and situations brings with it many new life lessons adding to my understanding of the world around me and in turn boosting my world literacy. But how does this affect my literacy? Keep reading and we will figure it out together.

Do you remember the movie White Squall? It is a tale of teenage boys who embark upon an educational journey on the open seas. The narrator of the story (one of the boys) carefully studies each of his shipmates as well as the captain and crew detailing their tragedies and successes over several months through the good, the bad, and the unthinkable. What is most remarkable about this narrator is his raw honesty and tangible perception. He weaves each thread of his life into the fabric that makes up the world around him to reveal a colorful pattern of tragedy, betrayal, success, failure, happiness, desire, and evil. I want my literacy and ability to translate my perception of my world to become tangible. I want my story to unfold honestly and brutally to reveal ideas and notions that challenge others and bend societal norms rather than simply scratch the surface with mundane daily occurrences.

The very rules and barriers that keep us corralled and moving in the proper directions are the same barriers that prevent complete creative expression. In a sense I have the "caged bird" syndrome. When my physical body is unable to move about freely my mind goes on lock-down. This could explain my insatiable hunger for adventure. Only when the body is free is the mind truly free. The irony in my previous statement is that I find it more difficult to write in my journal, which is a portable object that can be taken anywhere, rather than sitting at my computer confined to my desk writing in my blog. Why is that? Simple--a journal's pages are restricting, confining, limiting the writer to specifically sized pages while the internet is limitless. The writer never has to stop to turn a page stalling an idea. Instead she is allowed to type at the rate at which the idea is flowing rather than being restricted to the sloth-like behavior of a writing utensil.

The final stumbling block is overcoming one's own fear of creative freedom. These days I find myself bouncing back and forth between my old, stuffy, "Ben Stein" monosyllabic writing style and the new, unbridled (oh that sounds dangerously like a chintzy romance novel), highly creative, without boundaries method. The old and new ways are battling it out and coming to terms with each other in an effort to find a balance.

After all this seemingly senseless babble, what in the hell does all of this have to do with literacy? Everything. Throughout my experiences I have discovered many varied methods for writing and expression which translates to my literacy and how I interpret the world and those in it. Bolter explains of the evolution of writing and technology, "When in the history of writing a new technology appears, it may supplement an established technology or replace it" (22). While I certainly admit technology has played a huge role in my literacy and interpretation of the world, I also must acknowledge an evolution in my own writing process and give "props" to the people and places responsible. A great number of the people responsible are my professors who have revealed ideas, people, histories, and technologies that I otherwise would have never discovered even with access to the all-knowing Internet. Bolter points to this, "No technology, not even the apparently autonomous computer, can ever function as a writing space in the absence of human writers and readers" (17). So it seems technology and humans are forever linked. I am sure the great rhetoricians of the ancient world stressed over the slow death of orality at the introduction of pen and parchment resulting in literacy. Just as pen had to make way for the printing press and so on. The evolution of writing and literacy plays a major role in shaping society and vice versa. How has it shaped me?

Returning to my previous statement concerning my need for creative freedom and the journey to locate the source of my inspiration, most recently my writing has taken a drastic turn taking me to new and exciting places. It is as if a switch has been flipped and suddenly all of the things I learned during my stint as an undergrad in the COMM Dept. have taken their first breath. But what sparked this newly found inspiration? Wait for it.... Wait for it.... Well, several things... most notably a recent internship with The Pulse, a local publication. I was exposed to not only writing, but photography, editing, and graphic design. During this time, I was allowed to utilize all of my COMM knowledge to locate photos and info using resources like Facebook and MySpace. My first assignment was a cover article on an outdoor festival which was right up my alley. I was allowed to take photos and assist in the graphic design process for the publication. The combination of all of these elements has shown me a whole new way of viewing technology combined with creativity combined with an academic writing style (I thought I would never use).

Let's rewind for a bit and take a look at those on my on-going "props" list that I would recite on Oprah if ever interviewed. Here goes...

To my 8th grade English teacher,
Thank you for placing me in Honors English courses in high school. I would have never done so on my own and my parents were too busy surviving to even notice my abilities. You started me on my current path and if it weren't for you I would not have met all of the people coming up next.

Dear Doc Atkins,
Thank you for reading my business paper and asking me, "What are you an idiot? You need to be doing something English-related!" and forcing me to drop business as a major.

Dear Moira Tingle,
Thank you for sitting me down in the cafeteria at UTC as a blossoming freshman in Composition II and explaining the importance of my writing ability. You supplied me with books to assist me in my development from your personal collection (of which I still own).

Dearest Dr. Rushing (and the rest of the COMM Dept @ UTC),
I truly cannot thank you enough for the knowledge you have given me and the abilities you have strengthened. You helped me develop an inherent artistic ability of which I had carefully stashed in the belief it would not prove lucrative. Thank you for pissing me off and forcing me to learn in your absence. That is how I learn best--give me the directions and step away. For that I will always be thankful. Finally, thank you for simply taking time out of your life to sit down with me and follow up on my life status and keep me moving forward.

To all of the Grad professors in the ENGL Dept.,
Due to a dwindling economy, I was forced to choose between the military or grad school. I was not happy about my forced decision and thought I would be forced to learn stuff I would never use in the real world. Boy was I wrong! I don't have the words to express my gratitude at the knowledge you have ever so graciously bestowed upon me. When I thought my words would fall on deaf ears--they did not. When I thought I would not pull through--I did. When I thought I would never make the connections between the overwhelming amount of information--I did...thanks to all of you. You have taken me from my little world and introduced me to THE world and for that I will be eternally grateful.

So as you can see my literacy has been shaped by many, many people along with some technology. I do not see how I could have done or continue to do it without both, but if I had to trade one for the other I would choose the people over the technology any day.